Everyday passes by and he doesn't talks to me anymore. What the hell! :( I'm always waiting for his pm or text, his replies, but he don't even insist to do it. Is that really a best friend? Because what I know about best friends is that they update each other what's happening around them, they share stories and always talk. But MY best friend? I don't think so. It seems like he is not my best friend anymore. Drama much right? but it's what I feel. It's what I ALWAYS feel about him. I understand if he's busy or something but I always see him online, but he never pm me. What happened? Is it because he's already happy with his girl and I am not with the one I love? It's so unfair. He leaves all the burden to me. :(
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? I talked to him about that matter so MANY TIMES already but it seems to be worse. ugggh. I cannot resist him because he is my best friend. But I think it's time that he will do the first step first. :)
HEEEEEELLLLP :(
---VIOLET
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
heartsrtings of memories...
We met because of the organization we are into. When I saw you, i thought you were just one of the normal guys in school. I thought you're nerd or shy. But then, It all began when you added me as your friend in YM. We chatted almost daily during that summer. We also join conferences in skype, ym or even in multiply. We also had celebrations everyday, like plerty day, green day, english day and so on. That's the time I started to meet you through YM and TEXT. That's the time we became close. I remember when you saw my address, that our houses are kinda near, that we're just blocks away from each other. Then our relationship became deeper that we almost knew each other very well.
One time, it was prayer service, and we have an activity wherein you will let your co-kruhay write their name wherever part you like him/her to on a paper. Every part symbolizes something. The time the instructed go, we bump into each others eyes, you went near me and let me write on your eyes or mouth? If my memory serves me right. I let you write on my mouth, coz you're the one I feel comfortable when talking. You always makes me laugh and we have this, "Special connection" when talking whether personally or thru ym or text.
Then the maskara fest was our next project, your director made me and extra of your play. It was kinda funny because when we already had the play, what I just do is give you the peanuts then i will play with them while you are talking and talking inside the jeep. hahaha.
It has already been almost half a year that we know each other that time, our connection, for me, became stronger. We chatted daily and during weekends, we often text each other already. That's the time I started to have feeling to you. it's kinda weird huh? having feelings because of text? but that's true. You then became my inspiration to strive harder in life.
After a while, it's mata party! yeah. I can't believe that we became "date" during that time. We became tablemates with the other couple of our org. Although the sad part is, we didn't talk that much. I became so sad.
It's my birthday! yeaba! hahaha. That night before my birthday, I was online in ym. And HE is online too, my stat was "through heaven's eyes" pertaining to God's eyes. Then HE pm-ed me asking me what's my stat all about. then I said the God's eyes thing. After a while, He pm-ed me again and asked me what's the time in my cellphone. I answered him and asked him why, he said nothing. Then we chatted, played toki toki boom then we called each other toki. We did that from 7 pm up to almost 12. Then he revealed that he will greet me at exactly 12 because he wanted to surprise me and he wanted to be the first person who will greet me. So I really waited until 12. Then suddenly my cellphone vibrated, ITs HIS TEXT! gosh! I really blushed during that time. as in! I slept happily and my birthday was so happy! He also greeted me 11:59 before my birthday end. How sweet right? :"">
Then, Gawad alab agila became the next gathering. We should wear informal dress, so I entered with a ruffled with blazer dress. We get to pick our tablemates that time, I wanted to be with my bestfriend, so i sat with my bestfriend, JEFF. But then I knew that my <3 will also be sitting on the same table, so I kinda blushed. When HE arrived, he sat beside me. So I really, totally blushed. Before the awards night started, There was a mass. During the singing of the Our Father, we held hands and I was like singing happily because of what happened. After that, the awards night started, while the emcee was announcing the names of the winner, we talked to each other. I kinda have a weird feeling but I was happy. :) We had SO MANY pics, as in so many that I can make my own album with him. haha. That night was a fairytale for me. I was so happy.
Recognition passed, we are both awardees, I'm so happy. My awards are somewhat because of you. You are one of my inspirations during that time.
It's time for the fourth year to graduate. I attended the graduation. When I arrived at school during that day, I texted my bestfriend, Jeff to accompany me coz I don't know anyone who would come. Then, he said that "that guy" would come. So I became somewhat happy. My bestfriend and I picked him up at the old canteen. We altogether went upstairs to the audi-gym. We sat at the upper bleachers, when I sat, I was so shocked that he sat beside me. So I was SO HAPPY. we then, cheered every fourth year we know. after that, we came down and hugged the fourth year. :( I then became sad and kinda dramatic because most of my fourth year friends are so close to me.
It's summer again! wow ! It has already been a year. So fast! I remember that summer, when HE went to australia to visit his brother for 3 weeks i think. He and Sir played a joke on me that HE will never come back again. When they said that, I really cried ate the CR. my tears are continiously falling from my face. But then, He pm-ed again and said that that was all a joke, when i read that, it's like a thorn was pulled from my heart. I really became happy. Days then passed, you being far from me. I became really sad because i really missed you. When you arrived before the workshop, safe and happy with your family? I became so happy for you.
It's workshop! yehey! hahaha. The first day was super fun! We were chosen to facilitate the activity, CLOSER. We also conducted a sample of that activity. As we become, CLOSER, I blushed the blushed then blushed. I think that's one of my happiest days with you.
Days passed, little by little, everything we had, FADED. It's like a sand castle washed by the ocean. After you have built it for so long, sweat fell and your skin burned, it will just fade at all. What a journey! I thought everything was already okay. That even though you don't know that I have feelings for you, we will get stronger. But then, It all faded by just one snap. It all disappeared because of a thing, a reason that I even don't know. So no one can blame me if I have a bitter feeling for HIM because he started all of this. this "MOVIE" that HE had directed will just be seen on tv. But in real life? NEVER :(
Until now, I HAVE FEELINGS for you. Stupid me right? dumb me! I don't know why but I am really pushing you out of my life but there's something returning you back in my heart. :(
Even though we are like this, My memories with you will remain in my diary forever, but not in the heart, coz I have to move on. You already have this someone so have to accept the fact that the PAST will never ever be repeated again. actually at this point, I want the quote "history repeats itself" to become true. True to my life. That I will have you once again.
I just reminisced our memories. But now, whether I like it or not, I already have to cut these memories. I have to cut our heartsrings of Memories :(
BYE...
---VIOLET
One time, it was prayer service, and we have an activity wherein you will let your co-kruhay write their name wherever part you like him/her to on a paper. Every part symbolizes something. The time the instructed go, we bump into each others eyes, you went near me and let me write on your eyes or mouth? If my memory serves me right. I let you write on my mouth, coz you're the one I feel comfortable when talking. You always makes me laugh and we have this, "Special connection" when talking whether personally or thru ym or text.
Then the maskara fest was our next project, your director made me and extra of your play. It was kinda funny because when we already had the play, what I just do is give you the peanuts then i will play with them while you are talking and talking inside the jeep. hahaha.
It has already been almost half a year that we know each other that time, our connection, for me, became stronger. We chatted daily and during weekends, we often text each other already. That's the time I started to have feeling to you. it's kinda weird huh? having feelings because of text? but that's true. You then became my inspiration to strive harder in life.
After a while, it's mata party! yeah. I can't believe that we became "date" during that time. We became tablemates with the other couple of our org. Although the sad part is, we didn't talk that much. I became so sad.
It's my birthday! yeaba! hahaha. That night before my birthday, I was online in ym. And HE is online too, my stat was "through heaven's eyes" pertaining to God's eyes. Then HE pm-ed me asking me what's my stat all about. then I said the God's eyes thing. After a while, He pm-ed me again and asked me what's the time in my cellphone. I answered him and asked him why, he said nothing. Then we chatted, played toki toki boom then we called each other toki. We did that from 7 pm up to almost 12. Then he revealed that he will greet me at exactly 12 because he wanted to surprise me and he wanted to be the first person who will greet me. So I really waited until 12. Then suddenly my cellphone vibrated, ITs HIS TEXT! gosh! I really blushed during that time. as in! I slept happily and my birthday was so happy! He also greeted me 11:59 before my birthday end. How sweet right? :"">
Then, Gawad alab agila became the next gathering. We should wear informal dress, so I entered with a ruffled with blazer dress. We get to pick our tablemates that time, I wanted to be with my bestfriend, so i sat with my bestfriend, JEFF. But then I knew that my <3 will also be sitting on the same table, so I kinda blushed. When HE arrived, he sat beside me. So I really, totally blushed. Before the awards night started, There was a mass. During the singing of the Our Father, we held hands and I was like singing happily because of what happened. After that, the awards night started, while the emcee was announcing the names of the winner, we talked to each other. I kinda have a weird feeling but I was happy. :) We had SO MANY pics, as in so many that I can make my own album with him. haha. That night was a fairytale for me. I was so happy.
Recognition passed, we are both awardees, I'm so happy. My awards are somewhat because of you. You are one of my inspirations during that time.
It's time for the fourth year to graduate. I attended the graduation. When I arrived at school during that day, I texted my bestfriend, Jeff to accompany me coz I don't know anyone who would come. Then, he said that "that guy" would come. So I became somewhat happy. My bestfriend and I picked him up at the old canteen. We altogether went upstairs to the audi-gym. We sat at the upper bleachers, when I sat, I was so shocked that he sat beside me. So I was SO HAPPY. we then, cheered every fourth year we know. after that, we came down and hugged the fourth year. :( I then became sad and kinda dramatic because most of my fourth year friends are so close to me.
It's summer again! wow ! It has already been a year. So fast! I remember that summer, when HE went to australia to visit his brother for 3 weeks i think. He and Sir played a joke on me that HE will never come back again. When they said that, I really cried ate the CR. my tears are continiously falling from my face. But then, He pm-ed again and said that that was all a joke, when i read that, it's like a thorn was pulled from my heart. I really became happy. Days then passed, you being far from me. I became really sad because i really missed you. When you arrived before the workshop, safe and happy with your family? I became so happy for you.
It's workshop! yehey! hahaha. The first day was super fun! We were chosen to facilitate the activity, CLOSER. We also conducted a sample of that activity. As we become, CLOSER, I blushed the blushed then blushed. I think that's one of my happiest days with you.
Days passed, little by little, everything we had, FADED. It's like a sand castle washed by the ocean. After you have built it for so long, sweat fell and your skin burned, it will just fade at all. What a journey! I thought everything was already okay. That even though you don't know that I have feelings for you, we will get stronger. But then, It all faded by just one snap. It all disappeared because of a thing, a reason that I even don't know. So no one can blame me if I have a bitter feeling for HIM because he started all of this. this "MOVIE" that HE had directed will just be seen on tv. But in real life? NEVER :(
Until now, I HAVE FEELINGS for you. Stupid me right? dumb me! I don't know why but I am really pushing you out of my life but there's something returning you back in my heart. :(
Even though we are like this, My memories with you will remain in my diary forever, but not in the heart, coz I have to move on. You already have this someone so have to accept the fact that the PAST will never ever be repeated again. actually at this point, I want the quote "history repeats itself" to become true. True to my life. That I will have you once again.
I just reminisced our memories. But now, whether I like it or not, I already have to cut these memories. I have to cut our heartsrings of Memories :(
BYE...
---VIOLET
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